Words are such beautiful things, here’s what my father (Stephen Barasa) had to say about the woman I’m glad brought me to this world:
“I support my daughter Rita (Rita Vigilante). That’s how I became an Arsenal fan. While at it, I have led a nomadic soccer life. When we win, we celebrate, when we lose, Rita leaves the club, and I follow. They win again, we return. I keep following just. And there appears to be no end in sight for the on and off, especially that Arsenal long abandoned their winning ways.
The recent experience though is one I will live to remember. Arsenal was on the pitch and they were doing extremely badly. If they lost this match, relegation was guaranteed. I was at the Emirates that day, extremely angry at their pathetic display so I determined to do something. Heaven knows how I got onto the pitch but in no time, I was playing centre forward, furiously attacking every opponent in sight. Aiming at the goal, and with the whole wide world cheering, I summoned every ounce of strength and sent the killer shot that delivered the winning goal. Lots of shouts in celebration broke across the pitch, making me a soccer star and hero of the day.
Suddenly, yes indeed suddenly, a furious Emily – for that’s my wife’s name – shook me like with all her strength, nearly throwing me off the bed; ‘You, ggwe’ Stephen, what’s wrong with you? Why are you kicking me?
It was then that I realized the whole thing had been but a dream.
Dreams come and go.
This one came and, unfortunately went, taking with it my hitherto, excellent record of zero domestic violence. Also, it denied me good money from the English premier league. Two weeks later, I am still explaining to Emily how indeed it was but a dream. I keep telling her we would be rich by now.
Ladies and gentlemen, now you know why our 8th July passed without a shout. Will you please join me in thanking Emily for cooking obusuma nengeeni for this rather cantankerous Musamia for 31 long years! ”